Day 25 - Wednesday January 25, 2012

Morning pages done
30 minutes walking x 2
Creativity

I can remember days of my youthful summers when we got up with the sun, took care of farm chores, walked bean and corn fields to pull out weeds, ate meals of produce just out of the field, played in the spring from which water flowed freely in the ditch, read books in enormous numbers and caught fireflies.  There was never enough time but we did our best to cram it into 16 or so hours. 

There were times in my adult life raising children where it's all a blur.  The time went by so fast and I was desparately doing my best to work 2 jobs, keeps us in clean clothes, make meals, do homework and school events and all the other things I knew I only had a short window of time to do. 

Later with an empty nest I got to explore the world as a single free adult for the first time in my life.    Some balance was regained but still so many things I wanted to do weren't done.  Some day I'll have time on my hands.

I remarried and things change.  I'm still struggling for balance.  Still struggling to spend the time exercising, planning proper meals around work, time with family and friends and then do the hobbies that are waiting for someday.  The pictures are there.  The memories in my head.  Later there will be time.

My mother is long retired and yet I hear her too say,"I don't have time".  Today my dear friend passed away at 5 pm.  There was a conversation some time back that her sister had suggested taking some money from her 401K and doing something she wanted.  To her it felt fatalistic.  I plan to be around a while so why rush this.  Later I might have something I really want.  Of course I had no idea of how much time we did or didn't have but regardless enjoying the now seemed reasonable.  Maybe, I suggested, you could just take a smaller amount and know there was still something for later.  That balance thing again.  My friend never did spend the money and here I am struggling with the balance. 

The clock will keep on ticking.  Maybe when you finally have the time, you will not have the energy or strength to do all those "someday" things.  Once again I'm reminded of the fragility of it all-life, friendships, balancing it all and time.  I'll review my goals and prioritize and again I'll fine tune my balance.  I hope for you to do the same- treasure the today and be sure to not wait too long for the things you want to do.